Changing the Key: A Detrimental Rock Star Romance (Book 1) Page 9

  “She needs time to adjust,” Eli said from the seat next to me.

  “What do you mean?” I didn’t bother pretending I didn’t know who we were talking about. This was Eli after all.

  “She’s a lot like I was when I first met you.”

  “When we met, you were a poor, half-starved kid wearing ragged, hand-me-down clothes. That’s nothing like Anna.”

  “Not on the outside,” he agreed.

  “What are you saying?” I could barely ask the question. Eli had grown up in extreme poverty, his father unable to support their most basic needs. The thought of Anna having to live like that made me feel sick.

  “I recognize the signs, like the way she stashes food, not knowing where her next meal will come from.”

  “Then why would she turn down an invitation to lunch?”

  “Simple. The insecurity of not knowing what she might have to give up in exchange for it.”

  Eli often spoke in riddles but usually had a valid point. “I don’t understand. The only thing she would have to give up is a few bucks.”

  “It’s different when you’re poor. Shawn,” he called down the table. “Explain the business term for having to give something up whenever you buy something else.”

  “Opportunity cost. Essentially, it’s the loss of other alternatives when you make a purchase, assuming a set amount of funds. Like, back in high school when Derek saved up and bought that blue Gibson, it cost him the opportunity to buy the new Wii system.”

  “I still have her too,” Derek said with a soft smile.

  “Why do you ask?” Shawn wanted to know.

  “It’s Anna,” Eli explained. “I get the feeling that her money problems go far beyond what she’s told us. My guess is that she turned down lunch because she either couldn’t afford it or has more pressing needs. Maybe both.”

  Was Anna so broke that a simple meal required a sacrifice? I squirmed in my chair, praying Eli was wrong.

  “I would have paid for her lunch.” It was a pathetic argument, and I knew it.

  “Any of us would,” Pops offered as everyone’s head nodded in agreement.

  “What was my reaction the first time your mom bought me new shoes?” Eli asked.

  I thought back, remembering his tantrum. “You were pissed.”

  “I was embarrassed that I couldn’t provide for myself.”

  Anna was no teenager. She was a very capable woman who’d had a run of bad luck. There was no shame in that.

  “What should we do?” Derek asked.

  “Be patient. No pity. We need to help while letting her keep her pride.” Everything Eli said made sense.

  “Okay, I can do that,” I assured him.

  “We all can,” Pops promised. “After what she did for me, I can’t stand the thought of her struggling.”

  “She’s going to resist help on principle, so we can’t be obvious about it,” Eli added.

  “She didn’t seem too resistant to Jaxon last night, all snuggled up on the sofa,” Lance teased.

  Damn, so much for discretion. “Nothing happened.” Feeling protective of Anna, I needed to clarify that. I didn’t want them to think less of her in any way.

  Lance held his hands up in surrender. “It would be fine if it did.”

  “There’s no rule against dating someone who works for you,” Callie emphasized.

  “As long as you treat her right.” The intimidating stare from Pops had my balls shriveling, but he had no cause for worry. My intentions were honorable. Or as honorable as they could be in our situation.

  True, I hadn’t attempted to date much after Krissy. And even when I did, it backfired. But I knew that Anna had already signed an NDA when she was hired, so I didn’t have to worry that she would exploit any potential relationship we might have. Though, honestly, Anna didn’t seem like the type. Still, there was a small measure of comfort there, like I could take a chance without really having to take a chance.

  Being on tour together was the perfect solution to my dating struggles. And it wasn’t just the convenience. It was Anna. The allure of having her in my bed was even stronger than when I’d first laid eyes on her. Now, there was also a driving need to take care of her and to know that she was mine, even if it was only for a limited time. We were consenting adults. And without the pressure for anything long-term, we could keep things simple and fun.

  The question remained: would she agree to what I had in mind? There was only one way to find out.

  Eli watched me as my mind worked. “Should I order your lunch to go?”

  “Yes. And make it for two.”

  Opening the door to the thrift shop that Eli had pointed out, I strolled the aisles looking for Anna while trying to stay somewhat hidden. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be if she caught me spying on her.

  As I rounded a corner, she emerged from the fitting room, loaded down with items. I quickly ducked behind a large display as she put some items on the reject rack and pondering others. The pair of fleece pajama pants that she kept among the jeans and various tops draped over her arm made me smile.

  Browsing the store, she passed a stack of blankets and stroked a particularly plush one. I could almost feel that hand caressing me with the same look of bliss on her face, and a small tremor rippled through me. “There’s no tag on this one. Can you tell me how much it is?” she asked a passing worker.

  He inspected the blanket. “All twin blankets are six dollars.”

  “Thank you.” Anna paused for a moment, then walked away.

  I don’t know why I got so angry, but rage welled up like lava in a volcano ready to blow. An unreasonable desire to destroy anything that had ever caused her harm or gotten in the way of something she wanted consumed me. I needed to find it all and somehow burn it to the ground. She shouldn’t have to deny herself something over six bucks. And she should never have to sleep in a fucking closet or feel hungry or cold. Her physical and emotional security should never be threatened because of money. And she shouldn’t have to bear everything alone when life got hard.

  Using every ounce of my restraint, I exited the store without her noticing. I remembered passing a big housewares store on my way to the thrift shop, and every step back there was filled with determination. A primal instinct had taken over.

  Armed with a shopping cart, I stormed towards the bedding department. AC/DC’s “T.N.T.” ran through my head like my own personal soundtrack. I was a man possessed, testing each and every option until I found the softest, thickest, warmest blanket they had. Then I took one: in pink.

  Continuing my mission, I grabbed assorted throw blankets for the lounge area, manly plaid patterns for those, thank you very much. As long as I was there, I added some extra towels since we always seemed to run out. Then some pillows because you can never have too many. The necessary pillowcases went in next. We weren’t complete heathens after all.

  Coming back up the aisle, I spotted a Keurig display. Hot cocoa and apple cider K-cups went to the top of the pile, then I headed for the register. One last impulse buy caught my attention and was tossed in.

  Slightly avenged and loaded down with bags, I trekked back across the parking lot to find a bench to sit on while I waited. As I started to calm back down, it occurred to me that Anna may refuse my help, just as Eli predicted. Too bad. I wasn’t letting her deprive herself when I could easily provide anything she may need. Trying to find some middle ground, I dug through my memories to remember what my parents had done to make Eli more comfortable. Pride could be a tricky mistress.

  When the bus returned, everyone hauled their purchases inside, chatting happily. Derek and Lance had gotten a new video game, Pops had bought a few new movies, and Shawn and Callie had stocked us up on hair care products at the beauty supply store. Eli carried the bag with my takeout lunch.

  The smell alone had my stomach growling in protest from the delay. After stashing my purchases in my bunk, I took a seat in the booth.

  “Everybody here?” W
oodchuck asked.

  “I haven’t seen Angel yet,” Pops said.

  “I’m here,” she shouted, climbing the steps onto the bus. “Sorry. I lost track of time cuddling with the sweetest little bunny at the pet store.”

  “No worries,” Woodchuck assured her. He introduced Brad, our driver for the day, and headed back to his bunk to get some sleep. Then we were off.

  I opened my lunch containers, sending the aroma throughout the lounge. Anna stowed her bags and turned to look at my lunch as she passed but took a seat on the sofa next to Eli.

  “Thanks for grabbing my lunch so I could get some shopping done.”

  “No problem,” Eli said. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I ordered two different dinners.”

  “Does anyone want some?” I offered, thinking back to the way Eli gave Anna part of his sandwich without making a big deal out of it. Everyone except Anna groaned and rubbed their bellies, still full from their recent meals.

  “Anna? How about you?”

  She bit her lip as she stood and inched closer, eyeing the bounty of food. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. It’s way too much food, and I would hate to have to throw any of it away.” I dug out the plastic cutlery and handed a set to her. “What do you prefer?”

  “I don’t know. What is all of it?” she asked.

  “Please don’t tell me that you’ve never had southern barbecue.” Her silent stare said it all. “Okay, we need plates because you’re trying everything.” Eli passed the paper plates, and I explained each item as I dished it up for her. “Pulled pork and beef brisket, both staples of any good barbecue restaurant. But the true test is the sides.” Anna watched, concentrating on everything I was saying. “Homemade macaroni and cheese, sweet potato casserole, baked beans, collard greens, and cornbread. There’s also sweet tea to drink and banana pudding for dessert.”

  “I’m sold on everything except the collard greens.”

  “Just trust me.”

  She did, leaving me with an absurd sense of accomplishment. The distance she had put between us earlier vanished, and we both ate until we were ready to burst. Anna cleaned her plate and even went back for seconds of the collard greens and cornbread.

  Everyone else had disappeared, leaving Derek and Lance in the front lounge playing their new video game. Their voices grew louder as the competition intensified, but, luckily, they had headsets to contain most of the noise.

  “Are we supposed to be quiet since Woodchuck is sleeping?”

  “Nah. He’s got his earplugs in. We just need to wake him if there’s an emergency.”

  I worked to clean up our mess while Anna put the leftover food in the refrigerator.

  “That was very good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” The need to claim her as mine ricocheted in my head, and I had to fight the urge to blurt out my thoughts. But this situation called for a more subtle approach. “Did you sleep alright last night?”

  An adorable pink blush stained her cheeks. “Yes.”

  I stepped in front of her, tracing the curve of her face with my fingertips. “Why are you blushing?” She tried to turn away, but I mirrored her movements, staying face to face. “Do you regret spending last night together?”

  She shifted uncomfortably. “No. I don’t know. I’m just embarrassed. And a little confused, I guess.”

  I combed my fingers into her hair. God, it was so soft. “Why are you embarrassed?”

  She leaned into my hand like it was a natural reflex, but her gaze shifted to the floor as she spoke quietly. “Because I was afraid to sleep in my bunk. Then I told you that story and fell asleep with you. I hate feeling weak.”

  “Anna, look at me.” I waited until she finally gave in. “You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, and I respect the hell out of you.” Cradling her head, I held her in place as I spoke. “Having a weakness doesn’t make you weak. I’m glad I was there for you last night. You can come to me if you ever need anything. Tell me all of your stories because I want to hear them.” Leaning close, I pressed my forehead to hers. “Fall asleep with me whenever you want because that’s the best sleep I’ve had in months.”

  “Me too,” she whispered, reassuring me that the connection I felt wasn’t one-sided.

  The bus leaned into a turn, pressing the rest of her body against mine. I held her steady as she gripped the sides of my t-shirt, making no attempt to back away. Our breath mingled together, and it would have been so easy to close the sliver of space.

  “Damn, I want to kiss you,” I confessed, needing her to know where I stood. Her eyes widened as a rush of air left her parted lips. Oh, yeah. She was just as eager as I was. “Not here, but soon because I’m not sure I can hold out much longer.” I eased back slightly, attempting to maintain some control.Her breathing had turned shallow, clearly affected by my words. And I noted the conflicting emotions crossing her face. She wanted to give in but was determined to fight it, sparking my needed to know why. Her next words began to explain her reservations.

  “You can have your pick of groupies any time you want.”

  Insecurity over competing with other women, who were good-looking and more than willing to warm my bed was understandable. And knowing that they would always be there as a temptation would require a lot of trust on her part.

  “True,” I agreed, acknowledging her concern. “If I wanted cheap, meaningless sex then I could have that.” Her furrowed brows told me I wasn’t doing a very good job of countering her argument. “Look, I know it goes against the whole rock star, bad boy image, but groupies just aren’t my thing. I like to have some kind of relationship with a woman I’m sleeping with. Touring makes that difficult, to say the least.”

  She chewed her lip as she seemed to think that over, and I could swear regret filled her eyes. “I can’t do anything to jeopardize my job here. What happens when you’re ready to move on in a few weeks? How will I get home?”

  It became clear to me that she had been burned by someone in the past. I hated paying for someone else’s crime but was determined to assure her that I wouldn’t let her down.

  “First of all, a few weeks isn’t going to be nearly enough time for me. But no matter what happens, I promise not to let anything between us affect your job or getting you home. Besides it being a total dick thing to do, Pops would kick my ass.” A smile tugged at her lips, so I pressed on. “All I ask for is honesty. We’ll just do what feels right for as long as we both want. No pressure for anything more.”

  “Honesty?”

  “Always.”

  “Okay, why me? Is it just because I’m available?” she asked, with a hint of challenge in her tone like she expected me to break my own rule.

  Wow. She hadn’t just been burned. She’d been completely screwed over by someone to the point of doubting all that she had to offer. It made me want to hurt the asshole responsible. Since that wasn’t an option, I put all of my effort into brutal honesty.

  “I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you sleeping at the hospital. You being here and available is a stroke of good luck, one I don’t want to pass up.” My knuckles caressed her cheek and gently raised her chin to hold her gaze. “Why you?” I spoke slowly, letting each statement sink in. “Because I’m insanely attracted to everything about you. I enjoy having you around. I want to spend more time with you, and I’m hoping you feel the same way. But it will always be your choice.”

  Her breath hitched as she nodded her head. Yet her words were in direct contrast; her body and mind still at odds. “It doesn’t make any sense though. You’re a famous rock star, and I’m nobody.”

  She didn’t deny her interest in me, making that a victory all on its own.

  “Everybody is somebody, and you are the somebody I want. I know you’ll be going home, but I would like to be with you until then.”

  She was quiet, lost in thought until she seemed to accept that she’d run out of arguments. “So, a short-term relationship? Friends w
ith benefits?”

  I groaned at the thought and felt my blood flowing south. “Friends with exclusive benefits,” I clarified, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “But I’m kind of old school. I want to date first.”

  Chapter 10

  Anna

  In the middle of a giant supercenter, with Jaxon’s arm around my shoulders, I stood dazed. Having entered an alternate universe somewhere between Raleigh and Philadelphia, I went from crushing on Jaxon to being in a brand-new relationship with him. And though I wasn’t exactly sure how dating on tour worked, I was too enchanted to care. He wanted to date me.

  Just as surprising was that I, Anna Taylor, had money in the bank. Out of the blue, Pops had offered me an advance on my first paycheck though I’d argued, repeatedly, not wanting to take any money I hadn’t yet earned. Shawn explained that it was a benefit they offered to everyone on their crew, at any time. Derek told me that even the band had gotten an advance from their recording label to cover their expenses until their first album was released. Eli assured me they had all benefitted from it at one time or another. It was nothing to worry about. Lance then showed me the picture of the motorcycle he’d purchased with his first advance.

  They had all come at me at once, ganging up on me, and by the end of the debate, all of my reasons for refusing had been crushed. Before I could blink, Pops had gotten my signature, worked his magic, and an electronic transfer had been completed.

  Mentally calculating the bills I still needed to pay, I figured out what I would have leftover until Friday. With a weekly check and my advance being repaid over my six weeks of employment, I could finally breathe a whole lot easier.

  Since we had another layover in Philly, Callie announced that we needed to make a grocery run after the authentic cheesesteaks we’d eaten for dinner. Lance had a separate cart, though he treated it more like a scooter, riding it up and down the aisles. Shawn shot a roll of paper towels into the passing cart like a pro basketball player, then jogged to follow it. Derek and Callie assigned everyone part of the list from the refrigerator, then wandered off together.